Mourning Your Friend
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  The Loss and Grief



Hi Tammy,

I've just visited your site and it's an amazing feeling to find others with the same love for malamutes. I had one for 12 years his name was KHAN.He was magic....I read your page about mourning your malamute and it brought me to tears because it's incredible how these wonderful dogs touch our hearts in such a way that can't be explained.I've had other pets in my life but with Khan it was so special,different,the bond is so deep,unexplainable.

My boyfriend and I have been mourning Khan's passing for a week now.December 9,2005 was when it happened for us. In the last 2 years he's been suffering with arthritis,it started with his hind legs growing week and his hips shrank immensely.He went from weighing 130lbs to 105lbs.In the last 6 months it attacked his front and we tried medication for a while but it only masked the pain.His paws looked like used tires,so worn out and bad shape.He would wipe out lose his balance and just fall.He can barely walk,go up the stairs that Carlo and I would literally have to lift him up to bring him up and down the stairs.He didn't like being airborne, always had to feel secure and grounded .

His strong will kept him going with all the love he received from everybody and strangers.Everyone and anyone always had to touch him.I remember a man so afraid of dogs had to touch him,trembling and all but he did and left so happy,that was an amazing feeling,he was magic.Kids would run up to him fearless and he loved it,always approached them gently.Neighbours would actually look forward to hearing his next howl so when church bells or police sirens went off everyone that knew on our street would stop and listen to him belting it .

I could keep going on and on because there's so much to say.His condition was breaking our heart to watch him suffer.The hardest decision was to choose his fate,destiny,especially when his appetite was still so good and mentally he was all there but his body was broken and we couldn't be selfish and keep him going for our needs.He's been always there for us, keeping our spirits up when hard times hit hard.The memories and lots of laughs with him.With Khan slacking was.....there was no slacking period other wise he wouldn't let you sleep.His determination,stubbornness,his will would amaze me every time.We decided to euthanize him because it wasn't fair to him.The respect and love I have for him kept us strong knowing in our hearts that we're doing the right thing for him.

The doctor showed up at 9:00p.m.Friday evening.What a compassionate man,amazing,never rushed us because we were freaking.The first injection was given to make him fall asleep.He kept pacing around the house but when he felt it kicking in he went into our bedroom and cried for us.When we got there he was holding on with his last bit of strength and only when Carlo and I held him on each side and told him that we're there for him and not leave his side is when he let himself go into our arms and we gently brought him to the ground.We lay on each and spoke to him,listening to him breathe.We told him that he no longer will suffer and we love and will always love him.When the second injection hit and I could no longer hear his heart I lost it.My boy was gone.

The thought,idea of not having him in our life is so hard to fandom but is an was an honour him choosing to die in our bedroom when I always asked him to come inside and sleep in the room (on the floor)and he never would and him choosing to die there lying by my bedside was just an honour and I will old dear to my heart forever.It was about 2 hours later when the driver of Pet Cremation came to pick up Khan's body.Carlo and I freaked because the whole time we waited there was a comfort with him there although he was passed on and now removing his body made it final that we wouldn't see him again,on;y in our thoughts and memories.It took time before we let him go and this man was so patient and understanding,didn't rush us either.Every I look into my yard I can see him and everytime it snows I think of him and see him jumping and digging his face deep in the snow and making khan angels....boy did he love snow.Khan will be missed always,never forgotten and always loved.One day I will want one again and finding your site made my day.

Thank you for listening




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